U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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