Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
