I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
