whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
