Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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