At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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