thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
