I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Randomize
