She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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