we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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