Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
