I hate all girls vehemently.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
