Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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