so explain again why im purple
no
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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