Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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