I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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