this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
