He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
