I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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