well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
