She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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