Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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