I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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