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i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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