Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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