if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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