Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
