every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I FOUND THE LEGS
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
