Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
