ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize