Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
