Can Purell be used as lube?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
