i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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