had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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