The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
