dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?