True but thats because hes a fetus.
this just has baby written all over it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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