hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
