my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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