17 year olds will be the death of me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
