First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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