Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
