last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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