haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
