There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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