Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
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You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
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My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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