how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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