HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
