True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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