My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
