just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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