if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
