Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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