i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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