Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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