Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
