Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
