Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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